<![CDATA[Donna M. Ferris - Musings]]>Thu, 16 Feb 2023 04:41:12 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[Growing up is never easy. Yet, when you do, such freedom is found!]]>Sat, 28 Feb 2015 15:00:37 GMThttp://www.donnamferris.com/musings/growing-up-is-never-easy-yet-when-you-do-such-freedom-is-foundThis insight came to me shortly after returning from my pilgrimage to circumambulate Mt. Kailash in Tibet in August, 2014.  This was an auspicious year to pilgrmiage to Mt. Kailash because it was the Year of the Horse.  In Tibetan belief, going once around the mountain during the Year of the Horse would equate to twelve times and erasing multiple lifetimes of bad karma.  This pilgrimage, as many are, is about life/death/rebirth.

As I returned home still filled with such great bliss and joy, I wondered what my life will now be like in this rebirth aspect.  I saw through my meditations that I had still up to that point in my life, to a large degree, been operating from a child’s point of view in my decision making, discipline and emotional ranges.  This is not to say that the adult within me didn’t come out when I really needed her, which she did often, but I was feeling that upon my return a lot of the other “stuff” or baggage had gone away and I was left with the really sticky, strong held beliefs within myself that I needed to address.  And only an “adult” version of myself could handle this dismantlement.

I saw within myself a vision, an illustration of what my Soul was trying to communicate with me.  I saw a child version of myself holding a key and standing in front of a jail cell with the adult me standing inside the cell.  The child-me holds the key up and shows the adult me inside the cell the key.  In the vision, I put my hands on the prison cell door and it opens.  It was never locked.  I had, for whatever reasons, needed or assumed that I had been locked away by my child-self.  Yet, it was my own adult-self who had locked herself away and blaming the child.

The child-self me, was so tired of carrying the load for so long for the adult parts of myself. Yes, she carried the key.  She kept it safe and visible until I as an adult woman could recognize what was going on.  Better said, I “began” to see and appreciate what was going on.  It is a learning process now to own my Adulthood.

In my vision, as I pushed open the unlocked jail cell door and stepping through the threshold to open my arms to my child-self and the key, I could hear and feel the swoosh of expansive air going through me.  Like standing on an edge of a great expansive vista in Nature and feeling the freedom in every cell of my body and being.

I hope to begin offering what I have begun to learn for myself through these months after Tibet.  The post-partum depression, growing pains and excitement of recognizing the wonder and awe the child-self within me shares and delights in my life,

To Life, rebirth, reinventing and reinvesting in it All!
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Guge Kingdom, Far Western Tibet. photo Donna M. Ferris
]]><![CDATA[Maiden Voyage]]>Tue, 04 Feb 2014 23:25:19 GMThttp://www.donnamferris.com/musings/maiden-voyageGreetings All!  I’m embarking on a new journey on my life’s path.  I’ve accomplished many things in my life and not so many.  As I approach my 55th year on the planet, I have been reviewing where I have been so far, what I have done and I have been opening myself up to see where I need to go next.  So here I am.

I am a Healing Arts Practitioner/Teacher.  That is the best “title” I could come up with because I find that I cannot describe in any better way for that 5 second “elevator pitch” of my work and who I am. For those not aware of this “elevator pitch”, it is where you imagine yourself entering an elevator with another person and they ask you what you do. You basically only have a few second to describe yourself before the doors open and you end your exchange.   I have found that elevator pitch a very difficult thing to come up with before I found the words, Healing Arts Practitioner/Teacher.  I may add Energy Worker/Reiki Teacher, teach meditation and stress reduction..things like that…to help people heal, may get thrown in.  Then the doors open to feel they may not fully understand, or an acknowledgement or indifference.

So, here I begin.  To help other people, as I learn about my self more fully and through that experience be able to really know and understand how to assist others on their paths to healing and wholeness.

In my mind’s eye I see a large cruise-type ship at the dock AND a beautiful sailing ship with many layered sails ready to take in the wind to set sail.  It feels like the natural world with the symbol of the sailing ship that uses no machinery and the man-made world referred by my mind with the cruise-type ship have me covered to proceed in any way that I may need to use. Connected and ready to go through Nature and Human ways.  Some may see this as Feminine and Masculine aspects also.   I do feel very supported.

I invite you to join me as I explore these uncharted seas and the land that may pop up to anchor to and investigate.  To be discovered…

Bon Voyage!
]]><![CDATA[Bad Karma - and a little help from the universe]]>Tue, 04 Feb 2014 23:25:05 GMThttp://www.donnamferris.com/musings/bad-karma-and-a-little-help-from-the-universeThis was just to funny not to share.  Funny in the ironic sense.  So I tell a tale about myself.  I went to the grocery store the other day and was buying many different kinds of bagged nuts to snack on.  I have chosen to use this time of Lent in the Catholic world, to “catch the wave”, if you will, of energy around giving something up and have more discipline in doing so.  I have decided to give up wheat and see how I feel after the 40 days/nights.

I picked out several varieties of mixed nuts that were salted, mixed with herbs and one favorite, salt and peppered cashews.  I placed these all on the top small space in my grocery cart.  I added some other items such as lip balm and band-aids my husband needed for his blistered feet. Along with some buffalo chicken pieces for a snack.  I also had my good size purse in the cart compartment.

I headed towards the checkout and placed all my things on the conveyor belt. The checkout   person had been scanning my items and found the chicken had a bad bar code and wouldn’t register.  Her register also wouldn’t allow her to just plug the number in.  I had to wait for the manager to come and override the transaction and allow the purchase to continue.  The line behind me is growing with shoppers waiting for their turn.  I could just hear them in my awareness getting frustrated with the situation and wonder why they picked this line and why do they always pick a line that goes so slow.  I could feel it and there was nothing else I could do.

Finally, all checked out and items bagged, I pick up my plastic grocery bag and head out the store.  I decide not to take the cart out because I just had my purse and one bag.  I lift up my purse with the bag at the same time and to my surprise under my purse is a bag of pistachios that I picked up to buy but didn’t see it under my purse and didn’t put it on the conveyor belt to checkout.  Ugh!!! I so did not want to go back and spend more time with this cashier and felt a kind of entitlement that they took so much of my time checking out, screw it, I’ll be bad this time and just take the pistachios and run!

No alarms went off as I went through the doors (but they did in my head!) and I walked briskly to my car where I opened the door and hopped in.  Oh the guilt!!! How could I do this?  This isn’t right and I just didn’t want to go back.  So I left the parking lot and drove to a nearby store for my next errand.

Still feeling guilty while I was finishing my last errand, I walked back to my car and sat down. I saw the bag of nuts on my front seat that I did buy.  All the sudden I had such a urge for those salt and peppered cashews.  I bent over and opened the bag and went through the assortment I had in there of all the different nuts.  My mouth almost watering with the thought of eating those peppered cashews.  I looked and looked again inside the bag.  They were not in there!  Wait, where were the lip balm and band-aids I bought?  OMG!!!!  I left them at the checkout in the store!!!

I began to laugh at myself, the Universe and this whole situation.  I guess the Universe arranged for me not to have any bad Karma and allowed me to “forget” my other bag of items which probably came close to the cost of the bag of pistachios that I “stole”.

I learned my lesson.  If and when I would find myself in this situation again, I think I will take the time and return and pay for the pistachios or whatever it was.  I am grateful for the support that came in and helped me see this in a very interesting way. I don’t think reflecting on it now that the stress and consternation this situation took was worth it.  I see if I had just gone back and did it right, it would have been much easier on me.  Live and Learn!!

And, those pistachios taste so good!!!

]]><![CDATA[vulnerability]]>Tue, 04 Feb 2014 23:24:51 GMThttp://www.donnamferris.com/musings/vulnerabilityI witnessed something very interesting to me today.  In my life I have learned that when you can get “real” and vulnerable to show all your warts (well, many of them or just one!) to other people, this opens them to be who “they” are too.  With less armor and it takes down the walls people build to show that they have it “all together” and everything is, at least, “fine”!

I read in fb of a Buddhist Teacher I enjoy following and she shared how she was so overwhelmed with where she was in presenting all day, the death of a friend, many responsibilities.  It was heart warming for me to read the words of support and love sent to her by the fb friends.  I had never read anything like this from this teacher before.

I went back to re-read the post this morning and to my utter surprise she had deleted the post!  Oh my!!! I was so sad for her.  Here this lovely human being that serves so many had reached out and shared a moment of disorientation, heart break and more…she was showing her vulnerability.  Not a teacher, not a healer, just a human being hurting and overwhelmed.  And she had to take it down.  It was too much, I guess, to be seen as not having it all together and strong.

I send her my heart’s energy of Compassion.  Because life isn’t easy sometimes and I so appreciate her opening up and at least giving those of us who “saw” her for a glimpse being vulnerable and allowing us in to help support her.  As she continues to support so many others.

Love…

]]><![CDATA[warm hearth]]>Tue, 04 Feb 2014 23:24:40 GMThttp://www.donnamferris.com/musings/warm-hearthWaking up to a cold house with no heat this morning allowed me to build a fire and not only get heat from it but to write intentions down for manifestation through fire, puja, offering… And So It Is…
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]]><![CDATA[Fear]]>Tue, 04 Feb 2014 23:24:27 GMThttp://www.donnamferris.com/musings/fear“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself”…Franklin D. Roosevelt.

I feel I see a different perspective of this comment of fear that FDR made. I was speaking to a woman recently and we were talking a bit about fear and she stated she was afraid of nothing. And I jumped right in and agreed with her. Then pausing later, I had this moment come back to me to review and ponder. Was this true for me? Do I not fear anything? And is this a healthy attitude for me to hold and believe?

I know when I am working with my client or clients and need to have clarity and strength to speak the words that I know will help them, even though it may not be what they want to hear, this kind of fearlessness serves. And when I gently, yet firmly, give my opinion that may not be what is popular in the circle I am sharing a conversation with, this is a type of not being afraid also.

I feel the Universe will show me areas of my life that I need to be afraid of, so that there is a balancing of energies in my life.

I came to see that if I say that I am not afraid of anything, life will be orchestrated to show me where, in fact, I DO need to be afraid and fearful. There is a place for this in my life also.

I feel fear can paralyze us and stop us from accomplishing what we need to do. I see fear as an ally, an emotional feeling that does NOT have to paralyze me. I can begin to see where I honestly have fear. For me, I came to realize that a fear of mine is that something “bad” will happen to my adult children and they would die before I do. I have come to appreciate how this fear has come into my life and offers me the opportunity to say a prayer for my children for their protection, safety, good health, wise choices and when I call or text them, I try to remember to always say I love you to them, because I really don’t know what the future will hold. Using fear in this way has allowed me to use the aspect of fear in a constructive way, rather than a destructive way. I can then move on with my day and know I have no control, except with my own self.

How might you choose to allow fear to motivate you from a paralysis into a motivation to change what you can do or say about what you honestly fear, act on it in a way that propels you and then let it go. It’s magical.

]]><![CDATA[May, the feminine...freedom!]]>Tue, 04 Feb 2014 23:24:14 GMThttp://www.donnamferris.com/musings/may-the-femininefreedomLast week as I took some time to sit back and relax, I chose to turn on the TV and see what may be on to just veg out. I usually like to do this from time to time and see what the rest of the world is seeing. I came across the section of the movie channels on the cable stations and was checking out what was showing. A second or two on each channel found me stopping at one that had a scene of a husband getting a call that there was a car accident and it was the man’s wife’s car and there was a fire. Only a ring and part of a necklace were found nearby to help identify the body. The rest of her body was pretty much unidentifiable. The film was called Hide and Seek.

For some reason, I was very drawn to this story. So I watched a bit longer. Turned out a couple had kidnapped the woman and impregnated her to have their baby. They would kill her after the baby is born. I watched the different scenes as the captive woman was in the basement chained to a bed with a short range of motion to a port a potty and sink. She tried to escape different times, yet to no avail. The couple who abducted the woman, were portrayed as strange, yet the woman of this couple was quite crazy. She was unable to have children and the husband was finding a way to do it for her and them.

The plot was predictable and almost nine months later, heavy with child, the woman does escape to get to a phone booth and call her husband for rescue. Ultimately, the crazy couple ends up dead by various means, the abducted woman gives birth and the husband who came to his wife’s rescue, was beaten but seemed would survive.

After I finished watching the movie, I kept wondering why was I drawn to this movie? What was the Universe trying to say to me? I was looking at the possibilities of how I may keep many of my own feminine aspects imprisoned within me. Not allowing her to be freed. And such a crazy part of myself, who I have allowed to hold the key. So, I pondered and worked with this thought and also how a new life was created and released into freedom as the feminine and masculine were reunited. A bit beat up, yet alive and together. A Wholeness piece to explore.

Now the headlines, not a week later, are filled with the news of three women that have been kept captive for 9 plus years have escaped with help from a vigilant and compassionate neighbor. There seems to be a child among them also born during this time. Interestingly, nine is a symbol for endings with new beginnings/changes coming.

Was my attention being drawn to the movie a premonition? Or just a curious coincidence? Yet, I don’t really believe in coincidences and know that everything happens for a reason.

Yet, there is so much to take in and process here, if I allow the time for it. My general feeling that came from a question one of my “Roses” (woman’s group) asked me about what May was bringing since last year this time and now this year, such huge events were happening in her life and around us. That feeling is that the energies are opening us all to our Feminine aspects on a huge level. It feels to me like the Feminine energies, supported and even rescued by the Masculine, are now free! Free for us to open our Hearts to allow what was hidden away, locked down and out of sight to be seen. Seeing the new birth that has come out of that very, very difficult captive period. Breaking down and opening to life as Nature holds this all in with Springtime in the air in the Northern hemisphere. As the Southern hemisphere, holds the opposite for us to balance things out. Still holding those parts of us that are not ready to be released just yet. But, perhaps, soon.

How might this event of the three women being released symbolize or reflect some aspect in your life? Your creative, intuitive or nurturing part of yourself being seen for the first time in a long time? I hope it will be revealed to you if you choose to go there.

May is also the month the Feminine is celebrated in the West. Mother’s Day is approaching and I catch that this is another significant “energy” to this whole story. In an article I glanced at about the release of the three women, it was stated that one woman’s mother had died during her absence. This feels like such a loss, yet a potential for the Matriarchal mantle to be passed down. Also, energetically, I feel the woman’s mother was so much more present for her daughter who was captive being in Spirit than she could have been while alive. My sense, is that there was some Divine orchestration going on to allow this freedom to occur which “mother” had a hand in.

Allowing ourselves to use life as a reflection for us to see what wants to be seen for our own growth and healing is so important. It takes courage and strength, most of the time, yet the outcome, is the most precious when it is a difficult path.

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